T W E N T Y

Monday, January 29, 2018
top- Urban Outfitters 

Hey
Here we are, I'm officially twenty years old. I started writing on this blog when I was fourteen years old. I was so young; still figuring things out, still deciding what kind of person I wanted to be, my style, my interests, everything. Back then I was just establishing myself as a blogger and in the social media world and look at me now!

I would like to be here in front of you today and say how I've found myself, how proud of the woman I have become and all that coming of age stuff, but the truth is I'm still totally figuring it out. And that is totally, completely, and utterly okay.
Last year I was a freshman in college, I was nineteen. I look around me when I'm with freshman, be it eating in their dining hall, or in a foundations building or something, and I notice the way they hold themselves. They have this sort of air to them, their egos are massive and they think the entire world is theirs. I walked that way last year. Finally in college, finally out on my own, feeling like nothing can stop me, when the truth is everything is all just beginning. I was a tiny fish, just barely entering the massive sea of different adventures life has to offer, awaiting me to dive deeply into it.
A friend of mine wrote a piece once about a similar topic. He went through the different ages, talking about milestones and moments of change that each new age has to offer. He wrote it at nineteen. I remember reading it, I was fourteen at the time, and thinking, "wow, he's so mature, so old, he really knows what he's talking about" and maybe he did at the time! But flash forward to myself at nineteen, I feel so young. Younger even at twenty. It's as if nothing has changed, now there is just more pressure to not mess up.

I remember meeting twenty year olds, whether it be a camp counselor or one of my sisters college friends and thinking, "wow, they are so cool, so grown up, so old, I can't wait to be just like them." But feeling like me being "just like them" was NEVER going to happen, me being "just like them" was billions of light years away. But here I am. I made it, I'm just like them and the time I thought would never come, came, and it now moves really freaking fast and it doesn't seem to ever slow down.
Twenty is going to be a huge year for me. So much had changed in my nineteenth year, I don't even know what to expect for twenty, besides the fact that I am going to have to just take it one day at a time.

Something that I am constantly having to work on is the fact that I over analyze everything, I overthink and I set my expectations for everything way too high. I need to start being easier on myself, and taking everything with a grain of salt. Realizing that not everyone nor everything is perfect, and this whole thing is a learning experience.

I am constantly growing, even if I am now at a point in my life where I thought I would have it all figured out, I know I don't and that is okay. This is just the beginning for me and I cannot wait to see where my wonderful life takes me.
Here's to twenty!! xo, O

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